Life I've learned is built on a multitude of layers infinitely stretching outwards as well as inwards. You may look at it both through a telescope as well as a microscope. Our fates reminiscent of quantum trajectories in particle accelerators where fools try and get a peek at the big why and how. Yet as with everything the harder you look the weirder and more unexplainable it gets. I can't say that life at the ranch is spectacular or grand, just like everyday life everywhere else it's plagued by its routines. Every so often followed by brief moments of true awareness or introspection thrown in for good measure. Wake up, feed, eat, water, zombie out, feed, eat and dream. I often wonder if I'll ever be able to readjust to the "norm" or if I've crossed a line which cannot be uncrossed. After a year and change of being freed from the cage of security living moment to moment, day by day; staying put brings forth an immense uneasiness and sense of unfulfillment. It's hard to wake up knowing exactly what your day will bring, at least for me. Even so I try to break the pattern where possible, be it spending time with my caged four legged friends, watching a sunset from the back of the hay truck, having pointless philosophical discussions with my adopted kun-fu master feline, going for walks through the snow or wrenching on Marla and day dreaming of crossing that border come spring. My future is unwritten and every new encounter, situation and most importantly choice brings forth unimaginable possibilities. I'm here now without a why but only a sense or feeling that this is a step towards the next step in an endless cycle of circumstances which I'll never understand nor need to. The only thing I see when I close my eyes is Marla and I rolling the length of south America, enduring countless hardships and adventuress to finally peer out into the infinite horizon of the south Pacific from the place which has overwhelmed my thoughts since first hearing of it. Patagonia. One day at a time, that's all we get! everything since and forth is nothing but air.
Sorry Marla but it is what it is
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